Hey there!
As most of you that are coming to my site will be able to understand, given the situation I am in, I will not be using my real name, I do have a DVPO protecting me right now. So, for this site I will be going by the name Rowan, it means red-haired, and I have red hair. I am the mother of two. I am a sucker for strays and rescues, but the “No Vacancy” sign is up for now, my home is very full with 5 cats and 2 dogs. I love spooky things, giving new life to old furniture and items so they can be loved again, making my own skincare products, exploring old mountain roads, and I am a huge Bigfoot fan.
Why I Am Doing This
Like many of you, I’ve been through and am going through some tough stuff. I want to show others they aren’t alone by sharing my story, offering support, sharing information I have learned. I’ll give tips and ideas of how to take care of yourself and offer fun, cheap/free ideas for family time; both so important to get back to a healthy place for yourself and your kiddos. I’m not always the best (actually, I’m horrible) at making time for me, so those posts will be good reminders for me, too.
Also, while yes, I’m a mom and I can only speak from a mom’s perspective, this site is for moms and dads alike. Men experience domestic abuse, too, and I can only imagine what that would be like from a male’s perspective. I know there’s things they go through that women don’t and vice versa, but many of the emotions and experiences are not experienced or felt by only one gender. Besides, dads deserve self-care time and I’m sure could use some family fun suggestions as well. I want everyone that comes to this site to feel safe and welcome in this community.
The other reason I’m doing this is, partially for myself, to get everything out in a healthy way and partially for others, to help others realize they aren’t alone. I am sure that people will relate to at least some degree the struggles I deal with and the victories I have.
I’ve had to hold so much inside for so many years because there weren’t many people I could talk to about any of this and know they really understood. Yes, I have had some amazing support at times, other times I had very little or no support and just had to push through, suck it up, and cry in the shower or the car.
The thing is, at least for me, unless someone understands what I am going through, I am still left feeling alone because sometimes I just need one person to… really get it. Maybe there were some people that did get it, but they didn’t want to say anything, which I totally understand. None of this is easy to talk about, especially with people that haven’t been through it, but that’s part of why I’m doing this. I want to provide a place to find support and resources to help people to rise above it all and have the best life they can possibly have.
All that being said, please understand, I absolutely am not an expert on anything regarding any of this. All I’m doing is being open, honest, and even making myself vulnerable about my experiences and the things I’ve learned along the way. I’ve learned a lot of painful lessons in the past 16 years. I’ve also had a lot of successes in those years.
Every situation is different. Every state has different laws. Every city or county has different access to resources. None of this is to be taken or used as legal advice. What worked or didn’t work for me, may or may not work for you. I will link some resources that helped me with my legal questions, but if you need legal advice or assistance, you need to contact a local attorney to help you.
The way I see it is there’s always at least one silver lining to every painful thing we go through and that is, you can help support that many more people when they go through the same thing you have. So, that’s why I’m doing this; to help, to show love, and offer support. Even if I just end up helping one person realize they are not alone, that someone out there gets it, this blog did its job. So, I hope this helps you to rise from the storm and work towards achieving the life you and your children deserve.